Cruising — the BIG and the small of it

The mainstream cruise industry seems married to the “bigger is better” idea. There are smaller, more intimate and adventurous alternatives. Just be ready to pay for them.

MS Oasis of the Seas, artist's rendering

Recession or not, when it comes to cruise ships, the attitude of the mainstream cruise industry seems to be: Go large or go home.

In the case of Royal Caribbean International, though, forget about bigger. With the debut of their newest ship, Oasis of the Seas, we’re talking humongous.

Royal Caribbean already had the largest cruise ships afloat. How large is large enough? They don’t seem to know, because they just keep building them bigger.

In the case of Oasis, “bigger” is 20 stories tall, 225,000 tons and almost 1,200 feet long. The largest aircraft carriers in the world weigh half that or less. In that mass are stacked 16 passenger decks holding 2,700 cabins with room for up to 6,300 passengers.

If you find those numbers mind-blowing, consider this: Oasis features seven “neighborhoods,” one of which has its own park. Not to mention the obligatory restaurants, casinos and all the shopping you can stand. This YouTube video will give you an idea of what’s in store for passengers.

Want a tattoo? No problem.

Loft suites…are you serious? Yep.

A bar that moves up and down between decks? Sho’nuff.

One YouTube wag has already re-dubbed this ship “Mall of America of the Seas.” If she never left the dock, you’d still be royally entertained. About the only thing you can’t get on board is a speeding ticket.

All is this done for what the beancounters call “economy of scale,” to make it all affordable for passengers.

There is an added possibility here. Neither Royal Caribbean nor their cruise competitors are likely to talk about it publicly, but you can bet your rent money that every one of them is thinking about it — and quietly planning for it.

“It” is Cuba.

Sooner or later, the United States will drop its outdated, unsuccessful and just plain silly embargo against Cuba. When that happens, cruise passengers will be clamoring to go there. Cruise lines will be converging on Havana in a stampede not seen in this part of the world since the Oklahoma land rush.

A relatively new ship capable of carrying large numbers of passengers there would figure to be one very popular draw.

Taken altogether, it’s pretty clear what Oasis means for Royal Carribean’s bottom line. What it means for the passengers’ cruise experience is a bit less certain.

Royal Caribbean virtually pioneered the concept of seagoing resort/amusement park, so you know the list of diversions aboard Oasis will be formidable. Some passengers may momentarily forget that they are at sea.

Another thing we can reasonably surmise: A lot of long lines. Lines to board at the start of the cruise and disembark at the end. Lines to enter the main dining halls. Lines for the more popular on-board attractions and service desks.

A lot of the ports Oasis calls on will be too small or too shallow (or both) to let this behemoth dock. That means waiting your turn to climb aboard a bobbing tender for the run between ship and shore.

At the same time, there is another type of cruise ship, and another style of cruising, that go in completely the opposite direction. These are the small cruise ships, carrying at most about 500 passengers and as few as 12.

Oasis of the Seas may have more crew members on her bridge than that.

Portholes or windows in your cabin tend to be a non-issue. In most cases, everybody gets one.

No neighborhoods, arcades, casinos. No Broadway shows. No rock climbing walls, putting greens, basketball courts. On many of these ships, your greatest sources of entertainment are your destinations, your fellow passengers and the sea itself.

These are often more akin to journeys than cruises, especially for travelers craving a little adventure.

Being smaller, there’s virtually no port where they can’t anchor. You can visit locales that the mega-cruisers can’t even get near.

These ships often include scientists and other experts as guest lecturers who will brief you first on your destination before you head out on the ship’s Zodiac boats. Be Jacques Cousteau for a day!

Not all small-ship cruises are for the adrenaline set. Some, like Seabourn or Crystal, go for ultra-luxury. On their ships, everybody gets the first-class cabin — and that’s only the beginning.

There are disadvantages. With vessels this small, the crews also will be much smaller, which means fewer people to wait on you hand and foot. If you run into a passenger or two who rub you the wrong way, you won’t have many opportunities to avoid them during your cruise.

Then there’s cost. These smaller ships don’t have that “economy of scale” of vessels like Oasis of the Seas. Small-ship cruise fans will tell you that you get what you pay for and then some, but let’s be real. These are anything but bargain cruises.

Still, it doesn’t mean that bargains can’t be had, if you’re willing to shop around. You’ll find a lot of those individual small-ship lines listed here, courtesy of About.com. More websites where you can compare and/or shop for small-ship cruises can be found on the Cool Travel Sites page.

Large or small, high-adventure or hedonistic, the cruise industry pretty much has you covered. It’s just a matter of how much adrenaline — or expense — you can handle.